if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
