and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
we're so committed to being not committed
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
