A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
