I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I need mimosas to revive my soul
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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