I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
i just had sex bonerless
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
