gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
