He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
