Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
