I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
