My hair reeks of homosexuality.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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