Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Someone came in the potted fern
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
