i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
