I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
