We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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