I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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