I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Randomize
