I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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