One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
