dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
