these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
