She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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