all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
