I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
