Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
