I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Randomize
