Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I think people are normalizing furries
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
