Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
