I'm lost and stupid without you.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
