There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
