Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
