lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
