I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
be right there i have to get my cape
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
