All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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