It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
