theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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