What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
me + whiskey = a bad person
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
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