I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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