I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
