she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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