i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
