This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
