Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
