Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Randomize
