i would punch a child for taco bell
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize
