he thought i was a dude.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
