sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
