you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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