Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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