butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
