This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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